A story I have witnessed many times over is when a Christian is being abused—verbally and/or physically—by their marriage partner, and they find acceptance and kindness in someone else.

A wife may have a verbally abusive husband, and when a soft-spoken man at work compliments her she finds it strangely attractive. She does not mean to find affection in another man but when she doesn't have it from her husband, she is often an easy target for such temptation. Soon words turn to actions and adultery is the outcome of the sinful triangle.

All of us need affirmation from a special person as well as from our colleagues. Being complimented resonates in our hearts. However, a moral problem looms on the horizon when we look for and respond to compliments from the wrong sources.

Never can we justify sin in relationships, but we can easily predict its soon appearance in many situations given the right factors.

When a wife is told by her husband, again and again, that she is stupid or unattractive, the words etch themselves into the woman’s self image and soon she believes she is indeed stupid or unattractive.

Clearly the husband is cruel and sinful to treat his wife in such a manner. He must accept some responsibility if she allows herself to detach emotionally from him and attach herself to a man who pays her compliments.

A Christian woman who finds herself in such circumstances needs to fight against the strong temptation.

The Psalmist put it well when he wrote in Psalm 55:12-14

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me, I could hide.
But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God,
as we walked about among the worshipers.”

It is especially painful to receive cruelty from the one who pledged to love us til death parts us. We cannot condone the wife’s infidelity when she has an abusive husband, but we certainly condemn the man for his ungodly behaviour.

Show kindness to all people who sin. Be especially slow to condemn someone caught in sin. We do not know the dreadful temptation under which the person may have struggled before they finally yielded to sin.

If you have given into sin when you were terribly tempted, read Jesus’ words to the woman in John 8:10-11. Be encouraged and come to Him now. Then obey His admonition to stop sinning. Our Lord waits to forgive all who will confess and forsake their sin. Come to Him and come now.